Sunday, June 24, 2007

I guess I'm counting down the minutes to the start of the new semester, but believe it or not, I have butterflies flying all over me already. I fondly remember exactly this time last yr I was struggling through the ridiculous piles of homework, & I couldn't wait to see the sea of blue the next day. haha, everything's vastly different now, but memories still stay.

just thinking of the many activities for the first week makes me shudder :D okay, I will get through it all & I will not let anything get the better of my emotions this semester, or at least that is what I'd try to do? enough of the stoning & slacking, it's time for the serious stuff. but who says we can't have fun while taking on challenges ahead :D

it's been a year now. I don't want to look back & regret, or shed tears for how I've become, because what's done is done & I still haven't forgotten the promises I made to others, to myself, & of course, to smile at the world like some retard, without worrying about how I'd look like (:

because yes, hearts aren't meant for regrets hurr :D
I'm gonna need all I can get besides keeping my fingers crossed, & we'll get through it all together.

SMILE, because you have every single reason to shine.

a thousand miles
11:54 PM

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

oh please, i ought to stop worrying. stop worrying about the people around me, because hey, aren't they all doing well? but stillll, there's that dying emptiness I can never fill up.

math carnival briefing today, & I was supposed to be in school by nine but ended up being late instead :\ but the games designated for the group I would be in charge of are super challenging, at least for their age? I don't care if I have to handle a bunch of primary four kids screaming or frantically waving their hands in the air, but I hope they don't get hurt or anything :D but I'm dying to see how they'd react tomorrow, because kids are naturally very unpredictable (:

oh, & there's gonna be a phototaking for cedarians in july, to commemorate the many, MANY memories that former cedarians shared right in the field of the national stadium, like the track & field meets & syfs. I may not know how much this place really means to cedarians, but I truly know how important this moment will be for all of us. this sounds awkward as I'm saying this now, but honestly, the two years I had there were short but fulfilling, & they were the bestbest I ever had (:

but I'd be dying to see 2S, as a class again.

hearts aren't meant to be filled with regrets. because then our hopes would always be dashed, roads & visions would never be clear, & we'd never realise the unflinching love that's dying to be let out, even when hearts are inches away. haha, i think chui yi is inspiring(: & super random because she poked into my cookie with her pencil but i ate it anyway. HAHA

even if time isn't on our side, we still have us.
& we'll get through it together,

a thousand miles
9:04 PM

Monday, June 18, 2007

foodie outing was it's first, & hopefully not it's last :D managed to see the same old people again, & that sense of familiarity was there, but I can't help but feel that some things have indeed changed & weren't the same before. I don't think anyone noticed, that at certain moments I was grappling with emotions running through inside of me, dying to let them out, but can't. BUT I had a great time with them enjoying funny moments, reminscing past events that seem to be buried in our minds ever so frequently. (:

I can't help but feel as though things are different now. I can't help but feel as though the people that I have met before can't be treated upon with the same feeling & respect because of the distances continue to build between us all.

there's so much to say, but I can't just let them out somehow. for one, the things I hold are precious to me, & I don't think people would appreciate the same way I do, but that doesn't stop me from believing in them.

I know I ought to run along, but somehow the past never fails to catch up.

I'm kinda looking forward to school, because there's that sort of excitement of dealing with new situations & seeing people I have missed dearly(: yet I am afraid at the same time, because I know things would never be the same again, & I really need the strength to get through the day.

a thousand miles
12:26 AM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

last night was spent lying down on my bed & gazing at the ceilings for no utter reason, but i kept thinking of the words of someone, & it was kinda thought-provoking? strangely, the more i thought of it, the more tired i was, & without me knowing, i slowly drifted off to sleep. maybe, it kinda represented what i thought of people's words, thoughts & actions in real life, maybe subconsciously?

with every passing moment, I become increasingly tired & even more so with myself. & when all plans have been laid out before you, thinking that they'd turn out oh-so smoothly, there's always that something to change you, twist your paths & make detours for what supposedly lies ahead ):

isn't the world full of roads with twists & turns?

but really, who will be there with you to embrace all that comes along? it just leaves me wondering & hanging sometimes.

on a side note, i woke up at around six today & had breakfast with my mom and brother for like the first time in years? (: okay, i think we should really have times like these more often, because i dont want to be some silent person in your life or something. & i'm glad i did a teeny weeny bit of chinese, but hey, i'm still trying.

I'm looking forward to meeting you guys tomorrow, we haven't met each other for like months? (:

[edit] & since tingan wants to be mentioned so badly in this post, i will!
TINGAN IS THE LOVE; hahah
i hope she melts by the end of this already :D [/edit]

a thousand miles
11:26 PM

Monday, June 11, 2007

hello world (: I'm feeling so much better now, because of some random conversation with my dear cathlin, & I miss her already ): she makes me high everytime, with the mentioning of johnny depp & many many other random & retarded things like sharing the money if either of us emerges from deal or no deal as winners. (:

OH & thank youu vanee for looking out for me last week, & I'm sorry if I caused much distress to you guys or anything. But I'll be back this week for filming yup, which means I cant go for foodie outing anymore ): well it's okay, because I know I'm doing this for a good cause, and prove to me that I aint wrong alright :D but seriously the foodies must meet up soon! another time, maybe?

haha, & I'm still trying my bestbest to convince myself to study, & I'm looking forward to study dates this week (: I hope I'd at least get some things done & catch up with other people's lives at the same time?

because sometimes, we get so caught up with our own lives, that the thought of even checking up on someone who means dearly to you just gets chucked right at the back of your head, & all's in your mind is just paying attention to the things in front, and never the sides. & when we happen to just look around to our sides, everything just disappears. I dont know, & I know I aint perfect or whole to anyone else(not that I know of), but at least I try to keep my stand at the sidelines? ):

It's funny how everytime I think of someone, the first thing that comes to mind is thinking of their importance in my life, and then what follows is how I have been indifferent to their presences, & for not looking out for them at at points of time. It's sad, isnt it? I know I suck at looking out for others, but being imperfect isnt an excuse to trying one's best, so I'm gonna try at least? :D oh well.

Have you found the earth that holds you?
Dont shrug it off, because you're gonna need it so.

a thousand miles
11:44 PM

Sunday, June 10, 2007

time flies, doesn't it? & i wonder if I'm doing anything constructive these days, but in everything I do, I end up procrastinating and coming up with excuses to cover up for things which I'm supposed to do.

well anywho, I have other things to keep me occupied nowadays. like filming, & I cant believe I'm actually in it but i don't regret acting anyway, because i learnt a lot & it was quite an experience for me? HAHA, the funny thing was seeing the group arguing with each other, & sharing all the fun and laughter amidst all the hot & fiesty protesting :D

apart from that, I think I seriously need to pay attention to the things going on around me right now, because I think there are a couple of screw-ups within me lately. I won't elaborate much on them but I hope I'd survive from all these & stay strong?

& I realise, that throughout all the unexpected detours in this crazyyy rat race, there are still people you can count on readily to guide you along & to keep you company whilst you are soaked in all the changes. I don't think you know that you make my day by doing that, because you already did. & even when you do, I know you're just a click away :D

REPLY TAGS;

DIVYA: haha serious is good too, but cut down on the poking, will you? (x

LISA: thank youu for the really nice poem! it doesnt rhyme but it sounds great all the same :D yes, you should watch pirates because there are plenty of eyecandies around to keep you high throughout the movie (:

RG: haha yeah johnny depp is love! don't you think so? HAHA

TINGAN: oooh support me in my quest of being you? haha okay, because I'd need lots of it laaa :D

LYNNETTE: hello :D

take me away, & hold me like you'd never let me go;

goodbye, & I hope you guys make use of your holidays, get some well-deserved rest & everything! :D

a thousand miles
1:58 AM

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Monday, June 18, 2007

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Monday, June 11, 2007

Sunday, June 10, 2007

YADA. (:

FEMME.

EVERYTHING WITHIN.

THE LOVE.

archives

credits