Saturday, January 27, 2007

okay, I know I haven't been updating for quite a while
but I guess it's times like these when I get to rant and possibly,
scream(:

the class deco is finally done, and that's one thing off my mind(: yeah I'm really grateful to people who actually took their time to stay back, despite the heavy load from homework and everything which makes one go crazy((:

you know, for some reason, sometimes I'd stone when I try so hard to contain my emotions. bahh, stoning does help in certain ways though
unless you can give me another hundred and one alternatives,
I might possibly give up the idea on stoning. haha

lessons have been pretty entertaining, and the teachers are really out of their minds, but I like that(: and somehow they kinda dislike silence in the classroom :\ but I guess that encourages active participation in class right. that means no more stoning from me alr.

I have three hours of free period per week, but I'd just head over to the library to mug or sleep(: plus with rainy days like these, and my green ikea snake curled around me, it further encourages the intention to SLEEP. it really does(:

tell me,
sometimes it just leaves me wondering;

that paper masquerade
may cover up everything that you feel inside,
but not for long;
because it's your tears which resurfaces,
and whatever is left is nothing
but a shagged piece of paper.

you ain't have to do it that way,
but I just can't get it through to you;

oh wells.

I guess I have lots of catching up to do with my dear friends in cedar, but I can't ever accomodate the stuff that I have at the moment): hmm that's no excuse right(: eh, I seriously miss cedar lots lots LOTS.

but still! it's buried deep in me, and whenever I think of cedar, a whole string of memories floods back in numbers(:

all I have now are invisible, yet unthinkable hopes.

a thousand miles
10:49 PM

Sunday, January 14, 2007

apparently blogger keeps ursurping my posts, which explains why my blog has now become a breeding ground for cockroaches, moths, lizards and whathaveyou.

and I know some people might just go AHHHH when that happens. xD

school has been pretty okay, with orientation in the first week(: I could see that the student council members put in lots of effort to see this go through and yes, it has.

I enjoyed the whacko games the most. yeah, I know it's common but here it's really crazy and the guys keep changing their names all the time that made it a whole lot confusing. but hey, they're really nice because they give you time to think of names before they actually hit you. (:
HAHA

well it's only the second week of school, and the lessons are mainly introductory classes which can be fun too. although it's officially the first week of school, the workload is already heavy. which means I've to cut down on my com usage gahh. ):

I simply love the class motto! Aspire to inspire before we expire!
which really means that we have to have an end in mind, set yourself to work towards your goal, and constantly motivate yourself to be pushed further before you expire(: carpe diem!
hehhh.

I really feel the heat here, but I don't really show it to anyone because I know they feel it too. but it feels so different now, and I feel so restrained when I want so badly to reach over to find comfort amidst all the changes. somehow I keep telling myself to keep up with the pace and not lag anyone behind but I can come up with a thousand and one reasons to take a step back and let everyone else carry on without me. sigh.

and somehow everything's so distant, despite the things we've worked so hard for to see it come alive, it's now so insignificant. and now the only thing I can do is to hold back the emotions streaming down on me.

walk on,
and see those footprints on the shore,
safe from the waves.

fly on,
and see those birds up in the sky,
all waiting to support you.

and that's what I've been trying to convince myself to do, but can't.
I guess I'm not that strong after all.

I don't know.

Labels: restrained. :\

a thousand miles
12:26 AM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

it's the last day of the holidays, but I guess there's that little part of me with that really strong urge to go to school. that's one reason why I dislike the holidays haha. (:

yeah sure I'm gonna meet new people to share my thoughts with, and new situations to embrace myself in, and hopefully I'll be more clear on what I want and who means a lot to me.

I shall not rattle on about how 2006 made me or break me, one thing because I don't really like it when I summarise all of those events specifically, but yes, there were good and bad times which are worth to reminsce. (:

and guess what, I'm down with a slight fever, but I guess the good thing is that I'm not letting it affect me in my mood or whatever. maybe I don't really expect much from anyone or anything when I'm ill? but anywho, I realise I can study better and pay more attention to things I've cast aside. and encouragements from others are an added bonus. esp from my folks. (:

I just hope that my fever would subside before tomorrow, so that I won't miss out on all the fun of orientation. (: that's all I could ever ask for? haha. yup I'd just wake up and say just how much better I'm feeling, and how eager I'm willing to go out there. (:

a little change in the way I blog? haha not really. you'd be shocked at how much I longed to do this. heh.

sometimes, a little bit of change is good, because at least you know you're not rotting away?

okay, I better go off to rest before I lose my common sense.

and I hope you guys have a great day tomorrow to kick off the new school year?
esp cedarians!

THE COURTYARD. (:

I think I'm losing it. haha

a thousand miles
7:29 PM

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy two thousand and sevennn(:

wow, two thousand and six is like overr already?
haha, I'm actually writing numbers in full.

and rachel is flooding me with emoticons on msn.
HAHA.

I'm gonna do whatever I want this year,
and nothing, absolutely nothing is gonna stop me. (:
I'm gonna go out there and have fun.
AND GET HIGH.
that's why it's called a high school aye.

I can't imagine using the term 'last year' now,
and it's gonna feel weird writing dates with seven at the back
haha.
but I'll get used to it right.

It was quite an eventful year, and come to think of it
I think it was one of the bestest years I've had so far
yeah, thanks to you cedarians of course
I would DEFINITELYY not forget you guys
for teaching me the wonderful value of friendship, trust and whatnot

you know somehow, I was thinking that maybe,
just maybe,
I'd wake up on the third and find myself all dressed up in blue and grey(:
but I guess white and green would look just fine(:
HAHA

having to go through sec two life was like a roller coaster,
full of ups and downs, twists and turns,
but at least we screamed as one
and managed to pull through it right.

so even if it was a roller coaster, with an intense 360degrees loop,
it's the many times that we clung on to each other's arms/legs/hair,
and desperately screaming our lungs out,
which takes away all the fear to make it a really good ride.

sometimes we gotta take on even more challenging ones eh.
and even if we have to resort to holding on to each other,
we'll scream together,
and show everyone out there what we're made of xD

which also means that I'll be taking on a helluva ride from now on
and it'll be the endless mugging (and playing of course),
going out there and meeting new people,
gaining new experiences, and who knows
finding that little something to make my life a whole lot livelier
and spicier?(:
erhems. haha

I'd like to dedicate this to all my wonderful friends out there
who made the very effort to see that smile across my face :D

paulina and beatrice
thanks for being ever so patient with me and my mood swings, and for showing me that sometimes, friends show each other concern by ruffling their hair :D though you two have made countless attempts to get me hooked to maple, I am unmoved by them(: really nice people, in fact

jie lei
you were totally inspiring to me. you showed me that I could really count on you whenever I'm down or I simply needed someone to talk to. I really missed those times we sat on the steps of the basketball court talking and crapping during school hours hehh. (:

i wen
this really lame girl here can be totally crazy at times, and she works really hard towards her goals. (: I will definitely cherish the many bus rides we took on the way home, and for letting me see the light in the darkest of tunnels. :D btw she's a math and science genius la.

lisa
absolutely funny seat partner, very driven too. I guess no one can compete with you when it comes to convincing people to see your point of view haha xD I had a great time exchanging notes with you in class and everything. never ever argue with her, because she'll hunt you down just like a bird. (:

cathlin
hmm you're definitely a bad girl, in disguise. (: there was one instance when you called for me, and I turned around and you just popped a mentos into my mouth for no apparent reason:D that was really hilarious, but still I got caught by ms wan right. cathlin is EVIL. she's made me evil too, to some extent. a really good friend who is not afraid to flash a smile to those around her yup(:

rachel
very entertaining in class, and very outgoing. I think it has been one of my greatest mistakes for not cherishing you when you were by my side and you have been supportive of me throughout. :D I might not have told you this before, but you have a really kind heart deep within. I guess there are people out there who deserve you more than I do. all the best yeahs?

sherri
really outspoken, and a really good sense of humour indeed. :Dshe showed not only to me, but to everyone, that she is capable of being a leader, possessing many many outstanding qualities that I do not even have. (x you showed me that you really cared when I'm down, and that's one thing about you that I'd never forget. thanks for being a really great friend(:

and one very special person, but I doubt she'd read this though
suba!
haha she's one of a kind? :D you mean what you say, and if there's ever anything on your mind, you'd say it out. your ever funny and out of the blue comments never fail to surprise me. I think most if not all the time I would find myself smiling when I'm with you.(: you'd go on rattling on and on about something that really interests you, and isn't it like amazing or something? HAHA. a really great friend who's always willing to share her insights with people around her. I've had many great memories with you :D really great friend and companion as well xD

well that kinda sumarises the people who rockedmyworld last year.

and if you guys need anything, anything at all,
just reach out and touch,
and I'll be there. (:

oh yes one more thing.
it's really unlikely that you guys would read this but
csb will get gold for syf'07!
I'll be behind you guys all the way,
even if you don't see me.
uh huh, I shall be an invisible spirit haunting the perc section
whispering into your very ear,
giving you support in every way possible(:

remember, I'm still a part of you guys,
and that's one thing which cannot be changed.

step it up; step it up to the next level}

a thousand miles
12:45 AM

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Monday, January 01, 2007

YADA. (:

FEMME.

EVERYTHING WITHIN.

THE LOVE.

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