Sunday, December 31, 2006

as I look through my recent posts compared to the posts I wrote a few months ago,
I realise that the way I post is so different.

and to think that months ago I was so dead worried about things that mattered so much to me.

it's not that I don't even care about it anymore
but it's just that it leaves me emotionally and physically drained out
and before I get on to doing something,
I collapse.

and putting in my full attention to that single thing alone isn't going to help either.

so much for avoiding it?

I just needed time and understanding.

I wonder if you knew.

a thousand miles
4:44 AM

Monday, December 25, 2006

and christmas is here(:

but somehow there's that sense of emptiness
like something's missing

oh wells

but nothing beats it than to have to indulge in the christmas spirit
so I'm pretty much contented haha

I made christmas wishes earlier on
yes laaa, I wished for you guys
and certain stuff too

and you know how I stopped wishing some time ago
because I'd thought that those wishes wouldn't come true
even though I'd wished for them to happen

but I'm back to it again
because
even if it doesn't come true,
at least I'm reminded of how blessed I am(:

no, I'm not being unrealistically optimistic
it's just that
wishes give me a sense of hope
so don't stop wishing
it might just come true.

and to all those who went through the effort
to make my christmas a very memorable one
I really appreciate it(:

it's nice to see you close your eyes
and your eyebrows start to squeeze
(like you're constipating xD)
and you wish with all your heart
hoping that it would one day come true.

will it?

haha,

Merry Christmas everyone.(:

and this extends to my beloved 2SHAY-IANS
and perc bandies!

hehhhs

and it might just come true}

a thousand miles
10:18 PM

Thursday, December 21, 2006

well there goes a part of my holidays
but at least I've had my fun
and I found myself along the way
if you know what I mean yup

(:

there were many instances when I wanted to revert back
but I gave up that idea eventually

quite often or even most of the time
we are afraid that we'd hurt others' feelings
that's why we chose not to do it instead

and what's the sense of being restricted
compared to showing how much you really feel inside
which removes a tonne of load off your back right

and if they just can't accept what you've just done
we can't do anything about it
but to move on

and this time it's a tonne lighter

(:

throughout the few weeks that I've been missing in action
I'm really sorry for not informing you guys
but just so you know

wai leng is still up and kicking(:

HAHA

reply tags!

Ci Hui(:
you're always so humble you know! well I will always admire you and your drumming skills no matter how small you think they are(: btw I haven't told you this before but you have a certain form of energy that you possess, and it has the capability of turning people's heads as you walk before them; I guess that's the makings of a leader(: JIA YOU OKAY!
P.S. music will always be ALIVE in me hehhs

Alvina(:
well I see you've made yourself feel at home at my tagboard:D and it appears that you like seeing those beautiful words flow haha(: as for the haunted house, it was kinda of a letdown actually as there wasn't any ghosts at the time when I went in yeahs. maybe they were having a lunch break or something? haha I can't help but think that you're a lamepok sometimes heee(:
yup do tell me the joke some time okay? (:

Cathlin(:
eeks I'm sorry for not telling you earlier about me going but I didn't get the chance to yeahs. but do return soon soon SOON because so many people here are missing you real bad): I'm sure you don't want that to happen under my what-to-do list right:D eh no vulgarities please haha I remember I got spanked by my dad when I was a kiddy because of that haha

Lisa(:
haha speak of the devil I'm baccck(: woah you speak for everybody eh? give others a chance laaa haha yupps I miss you too! and I'm gonna have a hard time dealing with it next year): well anyways I guess everyone's pretty much in the christmasy mood by now right(: hehhs. love you yeahs<3

they are just a bunch of cute taggers yeah(:
haha

looking back,

I've made footprints right by the edge of the shore

and gazing down at my feet

I know

that I'd make more footprints in time to come

maybe even handprints too

when I fall;

but I'll still be paving my way down the sand}

a thousand miles
10:10 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

the lamest people on earth,

are the ones who would stay by your side all day,

to cheer you up with the silliest jokes,

just to see you smile.

S
M
I
L
E
(:

oh wells
I guess people do change to some extent
and even if we would have to change physically or emotionally
hearts do not change
because we still feel the same way right

we still share fond memories
and that's one thing we can't change
and never will

(:

blahhhh

I'm off to escape tomorrow with percussionists
and apparently it's someone's birthday tmr!
so we're gonna blindfold her until she's on the ride itself
she's gonna scream when she finds herself in the haunted house

heeeeeeee(:

and sometimes the lamest people on earth
can just be the ones whom you can count on
because they give you their wings just to see you fly}

okay, that was random too.

a thousand miles
9:37 PM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

I've never felt so real in my life;

I feel like I'm so blessed to meet you people
from all walks of life
and I'd never even thought about how close we'd get
until now
when it all comes back to me

if my brain had limited storage space
and I'd to choose memories to keep,
I'd definitely keep the memories I had for the past two years
and I won't even feel a pang of regret at all
because you guys had totally made my life
so much livelier as a whole

and of course
choosing band as my cca is something I'd really be satisfied with
although I didn't get in the first round
but I managed to after the appeal
and it was all worth it;

I thought you guys did really great today
although we clinched a silver
it does not necessarily mean that we're not up for it
instead it means that we have the potential to do much better right
at first thought I was indeed disappointed
but that disappointment didn't last long
instead it turned into satisfaction and fulfillment
because we did our best aye

we went in there with confidence and hope
and we left with our heads held high
with no regrets at all
we've tried so hard to get that much-wanted gold
for so many years
that failing isn't something we're afraid of
because all those years of hard work didn't really go to waste
but it was actually stored up inside

looking around us
and the many bands who showed that they too
could succeed despite the mentality that bystanders would have towards them
but they proved everyone in that hall wrong
because they did it

and don't you realise
that we've come so far with our dreams which continue to steer us ahead
that not achieving that gold at the moment
actually proves
that we are not afraid to give up just yet
and that we have values that no other band had withheld
FOR SO LONG.

cedar symphonic band is full of substance and character.
and who knows
maybe one day we'll reach there
and today was a step closer towards that desired destination

I totally have faith in you guys.

and you know what?

I feel so blessed to be a part of this memory
that it almost feels unreal;
and I consider myself fortunate as to be in the shoes of the cedar symphonic band member
and to experience the journey itself
of reaching towards the skies
although I'd really miss out on that experience of actually being on top of the sky

because it's the journey that matters;

well tears were shed today on the way back to school
and having you guys supporting me, comforting me
was the best thing that ever happened to me
because you made me feel so loved

some of you actually thought that I was milding upon the competition
but it wasn't because of that
that I lost control of my emotions
instead it was the fact that you guys were there for me all along
and the invisible bond that we have has grown so much stronger
that I don't ever wanna think of letting go;

and it's funny how those you'd thought wouldn't be there for you
start to emerge in front of you
all ready by your side to catch those tears as they fall
and isn't it funny too
as to how those you'd thought that would be there for you
somehow disappear just as you need them the most

which explains why today was the real(lest) day of my life.

I guess I have to embrace the friendships which didn't quite work all these while
and to rejoice in knowing that
certain friendships did indeed exist
but they were concealed because I left one eye closed
and it is these friendships
that are really worth remembering and embracing
because they are the best ones I had yet

and the fact that it actually took me time and understanding
to find these friendships
tells me
that they are PRICELESS
and there is no question at all to whether I'm keeping these friendships with me
BECAUSE I WILL.(:

I'm really glad to say
that I had many pleasant moments today
no matter how happy or sad they made me
and I'm deeply grateful to my fellow percussionists
for their endless encouragement and support

Ci Hui(:- for getting everyone to surround me just to cheer me up but it left me tearing instead

Tsu Wie(:- for being patient with me and instilling hope in me to do my best

Hannui(:- for your million-dollar smile which was capable of making my moods positive and constantly turning back to see if I was okay in the bus

Varruna(:- for making such sweet remarks that actually left me wondering if I did hear them at all

Arina(:- for being there for me the whole way through and your lameness in your effort to try to sweeten the mood on the way home by the cedar primary way

Tracy(:- for constantly encouraging me to get high and getting me to dance retardedly before the performance

the sec ones (Syahirah, Angeline, Sheriel, Lan Xin)- for comforting me at the most crucial moments and for showing me that you guys are the bestest juniors I could ever have(:

Shaza(:- for believing in us percussionists and for never giving up on us

Hui Jun(:- for having that remarkable gift of touching my heart although she doesn't even know that she does, and for that lovely card

Yuxin(:- for sincerely wishing me all the best in the years to come

and how could I forget,
THE LEADERS(:- for giving the extra boost of confidence in the band and the suggestion of having a one-only whisper-cum-cheer just as our turn was about to start

oh yes one more thing
MY FOLKS(:- for kick starting my day by giving me tonnes of support and for reminding me to treasure my last experience with the band

I feel so blessed,
really.

This will be one of my bestest bestest memory I will have

and it would be stored

right here

*points to heart(:

I wouldn't mind engraving words in my heart
to keep these memories I have with cedar symphonic band
because you guys have showed me that life could be made even more worthwhile
when we're living for a purpose
and to continue to strive on with that purpose
makes all the difference
(:

I LOVE THE CEDAR SYMPHONIC BAND. <3
one heart,
one symphony,
one cedar symphonic band.

a thousand miles
10:46 PM

what's with the stir-up of emotions in me lately?

urgh.

and sometimes when I get carried away in my own thoughts
I'm hardly aware of where I am
or what I'm supposed to do
which explains why I behaved that way on thursday

I don't know if anyone of you noticed
but I kinda broke down halfway through
and I hid it all by covering up
which is bad):

but the minute I saw the look on your faces
I told myself I just couldn't stand there
and drift away in my own world
I just knew I had to keep going no matter what
because somehow
your smiles made my troubles seem so distant

who could ever forget the times we had tolerating each other
as each of us had to play the role of mediator at some point
and I've watched as these moments seemed to break us apart
but still we managed to salvage that pillar of strength
and we emerged stronger as a whole

well I guess we'll just go out there

embrace the sunshine

run with the wind

and give it our all

because it's the last lap;

and I feel pretty bad right now
because I'd thought that my folks didn't care at all
but from the little things you did really touched me from within
and somehow it hurts to know
that you have been supporting me all along
behind the hidden curtains

(:

and I know
that it's not time to lose faith;

GO PERCUSSION.(:
Ci Hui, Tsu Wie, Han Nui, Varruna
Arina, Tracy
Angeline, Lan Xin, Sheriel, Syahirah

IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE.

a thousand miles
12:05 AM

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Monday, December 25, 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Saturday, December 02, 2006

YADA. (:

FEMME.

EVERYTHING WITHIN.

THE LOVE.

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